End Your Stress - Your LIFE Depends On It

"Obviously, due to the Extensive Self Forgiveness I did in the Beginning, and my Absolute Decision to be Self Honest and to have no more Secrets and Hide Nothing: caused an Extensive Relief, as it was the Letting-go of the Burden of the Life I lived in the Mind, which had to be fed by Energy from the Physical, Constantly, in a level of Awareness about Interpretations, while Never being Aware about the Actual Physical Reality of this World." - Day 206: The Relationship between Pain and the Body - ADC - Part 54

This paragraph from one of Bernard's Creation's Journey to Life blog's has stuck with me and now I use it as a guide point, a reference point, a goal point, to see what I am working toward and why. To see the effects of what I am creating within myself through acceptance and participation in mind points that use the resources of the physical body to generate energetic experiences. To support myself in my decision to change how I experience myself, and through that change the experience of existence as a whole, from one of much Pain and DIS-Ease, to a Life of Ease for ALL. It starts with self, cause if I can't do it, no one can.

I don't want to give my life away unnecessarily to stress, not only does it effect me, not only is it taking away moments of breath as my life here that instead of being here I am in an experience of stress, but it effects those around me, and all of existence. What I accept for myself I accept for everyone. When I am allowing an experience of stress to be influencing me, it comes out in my words and my behavior toward myself and others. It's not about it being right or wrong, there is no right or wrong except in the context of what supports or doesn't support life. It's not necessary. It's just a program. And while us humans are busy with this programmed experience, we are destroying all of Life. So, LIFE literally depends on me ending the pattern of stress within myself.

I sure have experienced A LOT of stress in my life. In a lot of ways I had a hard life so I had PLENTY to stress about. And when stress builds to a certain point, you get to a point where you 'have to' do something about it. And this is how we through the program of stress actually manipulate and shape our behavior. The stress I experienced led me to do all sorts of things. There are times where I would self harm, cut myself, punch a wall, things like that. Which always led to physical consequence for my body, which was innocent. Sometimes I would try to ‘get away’ from stress. Go for a walk, or a drive, just get away from my environment and whatever was in it that I believed was ‘making me’ feel stressed. Within this not taking even enjoying the walk truly, as what I was busy enjoying was the 'relief' I felt from momentarily 'escaping' whatever was triggering my stress. Not me simply here, enjoying the walk, being with my environment, my body as it's moving, with nothing else going on within me in my mind, just here, cause I'd be thinking things like, 'finally, I'm getting the hell away from xyz, finally I'm getting a break from xyz, ahh finally some relief from xyz...', and within that maybe I would get a brief bit of time to just be with myself, where I 'felt like' I could 'be myself', but why am I ever not myself? Why am I not myself in any situation? Why do I have to go to all this trouble to for a moment feel like I can be myself? I would much rather that I was not dependent on certain circumstances that I can't even maintain permanently to 'be myself' within. 

It was like, I could always see the things that I was stressed about, but within this not yet realizing that the stress toward those things comes from within myself, within myself feeling inadequate to the situation, to do anything about it to change it, where my starting point for changing it was really to try to stop this experience within myself, which is actually a form of self manipulation, instead of dealing with myself and my experience directly.

So no matter where I would go, how far away I could get from what seemed to be the source of my stress, or whatever I would use to suppress the stress for a moment, which is how I developed addictions, like with drugs or alcohol or chasing after positive experiences, it made no real difference because eventually it wears off and as soon as I’d be back to my normal environment or as soon as there would be something in a new environment that would trigger the stress points within me, I would be right back in that experience, totally at the whim of it again. Hm. That’s no solution. I want to be ACTUALLY FREE within myself. I want to be able to stand anywhere, in any situation, no matter who or what is there, and not go into energetic experiences that will take me away from here and diminish myself, and others, in the moment, that then I will feel so driven to waste even more moments of my life in temporary measures that only suppress the point and lead to even more consequence down the road.

I want to be free of this self manipulation that is simply a preprogrammed system that is in fact changeable. It’s like I’ve in the past taken the hard approach of attempting to manipulate my environment or myself from the ‘outside’, as a way to ‘solve’ this problem, but since the point is within me and remains unchanged, I will always need to attempt to control my environment to control my own experience, which in itself is exhausting and stressful. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put my focus and attention into anything that is not a real solution to the cause of what I am experiencing as stress which is me, and therefore I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to speak and act in ways to manipulate my environment as a way to manipulate myself due to what I am creating in the first place.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to consider the extent of the consequence as the harm taking place in every moment due to this simple point of attempting to control or manipulate our internal experience through manipulating our outer world in an attempt to control our inner world, and thus by not taking responsibility for what I am creating in my inner world, I am contributing to the harm, when I can in fact take responsibility for what I am creating within myself and do not need to manipulate anything outside of in order to change my internal experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe that it's just not possible to not feel stress toward the things that I experience stress toward, because I experience stress toward them, within this not realizing/considering/understanding that stress is by design an association of an experience of energetic fear connected to something and is not that thing in itself, like the stress does not come from anything outside myself, where whatever I am stressing about is not actually 'making' me stressed. 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to think/believe that it is things/people/places/situations/events outside of myself that can cause me to experience stress as an energetic experience within myself.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed my experience of stress to manipulate/effect/influence/determine my behavior/words/actions leading to consequence in my reality for myself and others, directly and indirectly.

I commit myself to have to courage to face anything in my reality and not fear that I will be broken down or become a victim of my own stress experience.

I commit myself to get to the point where I only need breath as the tool to set me free from stress as I can always breathe in a moment which is me directing myself and therefore will not cause any suppression as I remain here and prove to myself that I am here and do not need to go into an experience of stress based on whatever is coming up in my environment, and until then I will support myself within my decision to change with whatever methods will support my decision and not with those that would continue to feed and build the suppression.

I commit myself to not chase positive experiences as a way to hide from my own experience of stress as I realize that this is how we manipulate our environment and cause harm instead of living in harmony in ourselves, within and without, to stop the cycle of building up stress through suppression to a point where we feel in a moment that we need to take part in various activities or behaviors that contribute to the harm in this world.

I commit myself to stand by my decision to end the program of stress within myself and to support myself within this decision by taking all points of stress back to myself to see how and where I am creating my own experience of stress, so that I can set myself free, through this supporting myself to become a being that is here always as life as breath.

More support related to stress:

Stress: The History, Origin and Nature - Atlanteans - Part 97

Stress: Personality Development (Part 1) - Atlanteans - Part 98

Stress: Personality Development (Part 2) - Atlanteans - Part 99

Stress: Sounding Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans - Part 100

Stress: Practical Living Support - Atlanteans - Part 101

Life Review - My Life as a Weed Smoker

The Secret Language of the Body by Inna Segal (more perspective on this and how I specifically use it to support with releasing patterns, like stress, to come, but if you read it in the meantime, it has perspectives in it related to pains or disease that is being experienced in the body that can assist with identifying what patterns you may be participating in that are contributing, that can then be walked through self writing to clear, which you can learn more about here.)